Good luck

I’m finding it difficult, now that I’m no longer a Christian, to know what to say sometimes.  How to respond.  An old friend of mine has been job hunting for a while and periodically updates his statuses with hopes and discouragement from his search.  We used to talk for hours about what we believed God was doing in our lives and what he seemed to be saying to us.  In the past, I would have told him I was praying (and actually pray!!), and hope God would “open doors” for him.  I spoke fluent Christianese…and I would whole-heartedly mean every word of it.  But now?

I catch myself saying “good luck” because I don’t know what else to say.  It’s a stupid thing to say….I know he doesn’t believe in luck any more than I currently do, but I don’t know how else to say that I care and I hope things turn out well.  Every time I write something to that effect, it sounds a little like I am really saying “I HOPE things turn out well for you, but I really doubt it” which is the last thing I mean to say.  Maybe I need to work more on my communication skills.

It’s really bothering me though.  I’ve shed this whole other language and haven’t yet learned what the REST of the world says.  Besides “good luck.”  Or writing a long paragraph or two to explain exactly what I mean.  Any suggestions?

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5 thoughts on “Good luck

  1. Stop being bitter, stuborn, hard-hearted, and ungrateful.

    God doesn’t need you – you need him. He doesn’t owe you anything – you owe him everything. He isn’t going to beg for you to “forgive” him – he is perfect. He isn’t crying his eyes out over you – he is the “life of the party” and those that hate him love death. You don’t accuse him of anything because you don’t know everything – and he only needs to let you accuse yourself.

    Sister, things are only going to get worse and worse for you, blacker, darker, and meaningless.

    • Sorry I didn’t get to your comment earlier…wordpress flagged it as spam and I just happened to check my spam folder and found it there. =) I don’t have much to say to this except:
      1. It would be nice if your comments actually have something to do with the post they’re attached to.
      2. I have never been of the belief that God needs me. Christianity did an amazingly good job of teaching me just how insignificant, unimportant, and worthless I am.
      3. I have no intention of only approving comments that agree with me. That being said, if you continue to post harsh, accusing, and hateful comments like the ones you’ve posted here in the past and the posts I have seen on your blog, I reserve the right to flag your comments as spam. I am not opposed to conversation and exchanging different ideas, but accusations and judgement are not welcome on my blog. By all means keep them on your own blog for your own audience’s appreciation.

      -lilcoppertop

  2. “Is there anything I can do to help?” and actually meaning to is a good start. Actively thinking up ways to do so is also in the right direction. Show people you care by actively improving their situation if you can – much like how your previous boss mentioned you to a prospective employer.

    Having said that, there’s not always (or even that often) something we can do to help. I’ve never been a Christian, but I also find myself flustered around this area. Kindness urges me to offer false reassurance for comfort, but honesty compels me the other way. So far my answer for this is to tell my friends how things are sure to pick up for them due to whatever character traits they have that are likely to help them… And if that doesn’t seem plausible, then at least there’s something I know I can recommend changing!

    Again, it’s not 100% effective and not as easy as throwing prayers their way, but at least it’s honest, AND results oriented!

    Lastly, there’s nothing wrong with an emphatic “good luck”, even when you don’t believe in luck; it’s a figure of speech that shouldn’t be taken too literally, like how we can say threshold though no one is using thresh anymore.

  3. Hi lilcoppertop, spotted you from NP. Good post – I’ve often felt the same way about using language – and feeling uncomfortable with awkward silences etc when I don’t fill in the spaces with the usual ‘Christianese’ jibber jabber as I’m trying to be more authentic with my language. Often now I’ll say in verbal communication – “thinking of you” instead of “praying for you” and instead of “God bless” I’ll just say “best” or “best, hey” instead of good luck. Then there’s the South African farewell that I like – when saying goodbye you say “go well” and the response is “stay well”. I feel this is more sincere for me.

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