About a month ago I joined ExChristian.Net and have enjoyed reading people’s stories. Some of them have been out of Christianity for years and years, and some have only recently left in the last few weeks or months. Most seem to leave because of the same unsatisfying answers given to their questions regarding discrepancies in the Bible, the suspect goodness and love of God, the arrogance of religion…
I don’t HATE Christianity, although I do get pretty heated sometimes when talking about church and the control that goes on there. Perhaps I should be angry or something. But I’m not. At least, I don’t think I am.
Most of the ExChristian members seem to be atheists, with a smattering of agnostics and various kinds of theists. This trend towards atheism interests me. Why atheism instead of just switching to some other religion? Sometimes it feels like “the thing to do”, and sometimes atheism seems like the smart/logical conclusion. A few weeks ago I caught myself trying to talk myself into being an atheist for both those reasons. It’s kind of odd that “the thing to do” would be one of my reasons considering how many times I’ve done or not done something just because nobody else was doing it or everyone was doing it. Just to be different.
When I realized I was trying to talk myself into it, I discovered that is not who I am. At least, not yet. If I were, I wouldn’t have to persuade myself. Maybe this is just my periodic desire for a label.
Becoming an atheist or a theist or an agnostic or whatever is not my goal. I just want to be honest with myself. Live honestly.
I am not an atheist.